hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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