How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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