hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just had sex on a roof
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
