He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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