glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Quick, to the slutcave!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
