Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
