i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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