Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I lost the right to judge tonight
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
