so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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