I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
