I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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