She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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