Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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