slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
