ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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