We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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