Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
