K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
