I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
