i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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