hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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