Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
