We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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