Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
