i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize