got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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