did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
