it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
