I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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