we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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