babies were throwing up all over the place
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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