She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
