Whod you bang
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
