i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
