Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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