his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
