You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
