We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
