i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
