let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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