It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
