I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
