just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
