I must be too annoying 4 u.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
