Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All the doctor said was why
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
