Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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