Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
