found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
