Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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