My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
