I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Randomize
