this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
