I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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