His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
