you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize