Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
