even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she told me i tasted like america
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize