woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
