Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
