the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
