it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize