Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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