So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize