True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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